| bye pedrotheroar |
[10 Jul 2004|06:29pm] |
i miss brenda terribly.
im started a new lj because there is so many bad memories attached to this one.
comment if you want to be added.
it will be strictly for people other then my beyond lj friends.
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| i swear i'd never wrong you again |
[09 Jul 2004|12:28pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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postal service |
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this is how bad it is. I am reading a chicago sun-times article on how to get over a break up.
this is by far the hardest thing i will have to do. I was only with him for a couple of months and i was with dustin for a year, and this is harder.
this part made me laugh a little through the tears.
Q. How can we keep it all in perspective?
A. "I think that, ultimately, happiness is the best revenge," Hirsh says. "Remember that no one has ever died of heartbreak."
Q. What about Romeo and Juliet?
A. "I think they died because they stabbed themselves," Hirsh says. "You can avoid that."
i want to look pretty today, but today is not the day for mascara.
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| fuck. |
[09 Jul 2004|10:06am] |
last night was bad.
the cops came .
me and my dad were arguing. they wouldnt let me hug michael. i told them off. they threatened to arest me.
i guess it was better than last time when i called them for mike "stealing" money from me.
it was a mistake.
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[09 Jul 2004|12:01am] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
] |
the new modest mouse album is growing on me.
i didnt take pictures at community days, because well, i forgot.
take me shopping tomorrow, i got paid today.
i tried calling steve today. i guess he is on his cruise still.
i want to get another peircing before summer is over. suggestions?
( bored. )
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[26 Jun 2004|09:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 noredsaucespredderinlunchables |
] |
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music |
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Yes |
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i have a new roommate who sometimes gives me massages.
i lost a best friend because he is one of those people who get stupid when they are high.
my life is so routine. i need some pizazz and sparklers and cupcakes
( Call it morning driving through the sound and in and out the valley
)
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[09 Apr 2004|12:52pm] |
i shouldnt be getting this upset. i dont want to feel anymore.
What is the point in loving if it isnt going to last forever? this hurts more than anything. I feel like my life ended.
so yay now im single right? me and steve get to be single and find guys and have fun? no. no no no. I want my eric. i want a boy who i can enjoy belle and sebastian with, who will sing pedro with me, who will really love me.
this hurts so much. i should just forget, hes not picking up, which means he doesnt care.
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[09 Apr 2004|11:42am] |
i fucking hate you more than anything.
i fucking hope you realize what you are leaving.
ihateyou.
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| bored in journalism |
[11 Feb 2004|11:46am] |
i miss my brenda.
i cant wait untill we both finish house of leaves so we can talk about it.
my daddy is putting a computer in my room this weekend.
i have nothing else to write about. my life during the week is boring.
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[10 Feb 2004|03:55pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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brand nizzle |
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Reasons why Ali is the happiest she has ever been in spite of her 3.3 GPA and high school drama:
( only i would make an outline of this )
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| JEW! ...i mean G! |
[30 Jan 2004|10:40pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
] |
| [ |
music |
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conor, duh |
] |
1. i hate dustin shakespeare
2. i am fat
3. i had a manic eppisode tonight
4. im glad you didnt see it
5. i spent my whole say waiting for 11:00
( explainations )
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| hiimaliandimafatlardass |
[29 Jan 2004|04:39pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
] |
Back to LJ for GOOD. promise.
My best friend steve is on here now ( ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sofaraway0104 ) add him, he is awesome.
Today i... went to school, took lots of pictures (will be posting them), ran to hollywood tans with steve, left before it was our turn because steve had to work, came home and sat here. interesting. I am seeing eric after he is done working tonight :)
After finding out that someone i was close to for so long has developed an eating disorder i cant help but blame myself. They say it started in the summer. Seeing me go through everything didnt have any effect on them developing one. This persons mom would always say she didnt want him around me when i was in the hospital or whatever because "eating disorders might be contagious" i guess she was right. I dont understand, a person just cant choose to have an eating disorder right? I dont understand how anyone would WANT this. So maybe i didnt have anything to do with it.
over the weekend i did something i havent done for months.
almost 20 pounds by May? possible? yes.
hi, now i dont have anyone telling me i cant starve myself anymore.
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| someone ivisit with me |
[26 Jan 2004|09:00am] |
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hi i'm ali and i dont do any of my homework in hopes of school being cancelled, and diet coke is my best friend, and i stay up all night listening to through being cool missing nicki, and i am wearing polka dot underwear, and i miss brenda shawn emily melissa and all my other lj friends with all of my heart.
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[20 Jan 2004|09:31pm] |
i wouldnt be surprized if i would wake up tomorrow bald, i am so stressed out.
i really fucking miss going to all of little leagues shows and being wes's biggest suporter.
back on topic..yeah i get stressed out over things that i really shouldnt but there are somethings that i just cant help but freaking out over...like things involving food. Ok so i still really suck at the whole eating normally thing. I do ok at my house, at my table in my chair but when you throw me into an enviroment like a fast food resturant i get terrified. The tables are so small and the food isnt in my bowls and im not using my utensils. So of course i start doing my whole move-around-as-much-as-i-can-so-i-can-burn-more-calories-thing, eat slower than i normally do, which is already slow. I just et so scared when i eat somewhere or somthing different. I dont know, i really dont think anyone will understand this except people with eating disorders. So yeah i make myself look stupid but i cant help it and i wish i could just not have an eating disorder for one night and go out to dinner with my boy and not have to worry about the food at all.
anyway, i miss murder by death when they were still little joe gould.
yeah this reminds me of the time i told my therapist about how i want to be able to eat cake at my wedding and i made her cry. its detailed so i dont want to go into it and of course at the time i was bullshitting her compleatly.
you know what? im just going to keep typing because i have no one to talk to about this. its funny how i dont even like the reuinion show that much and they make me so happy. its the keyboards. they make me want to dance and love and kiss and be happy, much like belle and sebastian.
i have a feeling this will be a long ramble entry...
get up kids make me so happy also, its the effin keyboards. i really want eric to call me back.
If it was 80 degrees out for just a half an hour i would be so incredibly happy.
i miss ivisits like woah.
but like brenda i an so happy with my life right now, if that is understandable.
oh yeah and people can forget about me in 24 hours when they mean the world to me.
blahblahblah i wish someone would pick me up right now and drive me to florida and sing to me the whole way there. but wait this is reality and it sucks.
---------
i am now offically pissed off. im upset to the point where i want to vomit and i am upset fora stupid reason. ok so mayhe this isnt worth all the stress.. i want to cry with someone and not have to tell them why i cam crying and for them to hold me and understand, but again this is reality and ali doesnt deserve things like that.
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[18 Jan 2004|01:34pm] |
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ok so maybe it is getting bad.
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| goodbye? |
[08 Jan 2004|08:22am] |
i am thinking about leaving LJ for good. only because i dont think there are mnay people on here that love me regardless. Can we please forget the internet bullshit?
In response to your post... He is NOT using me, thank you. You have no idea and you shouldnt, im not part of your life anymore so stop acting like you know everything about me.
in other news, i have a boyfriend.
in other other news, he is better than you.
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| did you punk the last ding-dong? |
[28 Dec 2003|10:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
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dirty |
] |
new years resolution : get over dustin.
Its not that i dont want to be with him, its that it is impossible. He will never be able to forgive me for having sex with jon and i will never be happy with the lack of affection he gives me. We both love each other so much but we deicided that we need to end it at least for a little because what is a relationship if you cant have sex without vomiting, or kiss without wanting to die. I am not angry with him at all, this was totally mutual. If we are in the same room together you bet we would be huging and kissing but it causes so much pain for the both of us, that we need to step back and stop for a little.
Anyway, in happier news, i had a great time in philly the other night with my sister and her boyfriend. I have been hanging out with alex to keep my mind off of dustin. We have been having a lot of fun but of course i still call dustin ever night and tell him how much i miss him. Today alex and i are going job hunting. We are going to paint his car later. He is a really awesome artist and we are going to paint stars all over his car and possibly a skull head on the hood. His car is so ghetto and old, you dont even need the keys to drive it, it also tends to shut off randomly.
( phil-a-del-fe-a )
P.S. thank you brenda for the teen lingo web site, hours of fun
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| Merry late xmas |
[26 Dec 2003|11:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
i feel as though no one in lj land loves me anymore.
Christmas was ok, not the best. I stayed at home for the most part and was with my family, alex and dustin. I am so glad that i got to see him, he loved all of the presents i made for him. He got me awesome jewerly and made me a sper awesome box. We talked about some important stuff and came to a conclusion that was long awaited. Everything is perfect now.
Today i am going to Philly with alex and amanda. We are going to go shopping on south street but since i have no money it wont be that much fun.
Coolest gift: Bracelet dustin made me
Most meaningful gift: Box dustin made me
hottest gift: Outkast cd
cutest gift: hello kitty slippers
most random gift: tape
favorite gift: my hair bows
( December 25 2003 )
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| dinocore |
[22 Dec 2003|09:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 stressed |
] |
the only think worth wiring about is the dinosaur fruit chews dustin bought me today. they were yummy and we played games with them and then he licked me with his gross yellow dinosaur residue tongue.
tonight i had a baked potatoe, that was the first time i ate something other than cereal for like 3 weeks.
shitty picture of my hair so you cant really see the coolness of it! haha! actually i just posted that because my sisters boyfriend tells me that i look like a girl from the new blink 182 video in that picture. si? no?
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